Control Freak

OK. I admit it, I like things orderly and planned. When I go on vacation, I usually pack 2 to 3 days in advance. My meals are all planned out for the next two weeks. I already know or have bought most of my Christmas gifts. So, the fact that in the next few weeks our social worker can just call and say, "Guess what, there is a newborn baby waiting for you to come pick up" is driving me just a little nuts!
I have sort of put the whole baby equipment idea out of my mind. I mean, the domestic adoption process feels very abstract to me...there is no referal picture to stare at and count down days until you go to another country and pick a baby up.

Well, after our homestudy and all we have found out about them showing our profile very soon, I have started thinking on it a little more. We went to Target tonight and I found myself in the baby aisles just looking and making a mental list of all the thing I don't have or use to have and have given away or sold with each of our moves in the last 3 years. Car seats and strollers, monitors and bottles ect ect... Do you know you can get pacifers that glow in the dark? Only if you have been on your hands and knees under a crib at 2:00am looking for a pacifer, do you know how cool it would be to have one glow back at you! They also have an icrib. It is a dock for your baby's mp3 player! Who would buy that?? What baby has an ipod??
I was hyperventelating by the third aisle because I have a crib. That's it. Nothing else. A crib.

Now, I know that the Lord who provides this home with a new baby will also provide all the stuff this baby requires, but still I am a little annoyed that I don't have a drawer full of freshly laundered sleepers and onsies and a nice neat stack of size 1 diapers. What's that about counting chickens?? Cart before the horse? I know !I know! I am not going to be buying anything until I get that sweet little guy in my hands. Still this process has made me rely on God and realize that HE is in control. I just wish that set better with a freak like me!