Some of the ladies at church and I are doing a summer Bible Study by Beth Moore based on the Book of Esther. I have been privileged to do several of Beth's video based studies and every single one the Lord used to teach me and this particular Bible study seems to relate so well with what is going on on my life.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Last night was on chapter 5 of Esther when she has Haman and the king come to a banquet and when the King asks her what she wants, she tells them she wants them to come back tomorrow for another banquet and most of the Bible lesson was on timing and waiting on the Lord. Beth ended with a verse that was very familiar to me, Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Honestly, until last night when Beth shed new light on it, I could not think of this verse without thinking of cheesy early 1990's posters of eagles flying over the Colorado mountains that every girl in Bible college seemed to have on their wall and the matching bookmark in their Bible. I think it was the mantra verse of those looking for a husband!
Waiting to me doesn't seem very strengthening..it seems exhausting! I hate to wait on anything...anything! Our adoption journey and anyone else who has went through it will tell you it is all about waiting. Waiting on paperwork, on lawyers, on birth moms to decide, on babies to be born, on rights to be terminated.....lots and lots of waiting. Let me tell ya, it has not been very strengthening to me I feel just the opposite, winded and ready to quit. I have shed many tears cause I am tired of waiting.
My problem is, I have been waiting on the baby not on the Lord. My aha moment last night was when she said, "When we wait upon the event, not on God we lose our strength..... never in our wait is God inactive"
The verse says that they that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. I have been waiting on this precious baby I feel like God is calling us to adopt and I have been so wrapped up in the goal of adoption that I have missed the blessing and lesson of waiting on God. The expectancy of anticipation and the blessing of God's moving has been lost on me with my tunnel vision for the goal.
There have been a few broken roads and many closed doors, but the call has not changed for us to adopt. God has called us to make a difference in the life of a child. To live out the pure religion spoken of in James 1 :27. I am excited to know that He who called us to it will see us through it. I am eagerly waiting on HIM to answer our prayers and bless our home.