Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A letter to summer

Dear Summer,

Remember me? I use to be one of your biggest fans. In fact I would count down the days for your arrival as it signified the end of my school year and a time to sleep in late and stay up late watching old Miami Vice episodes and drinking diet
pepsi and eating skor bars. I would lay out on our trampoline worshipping your rays as I dreamed of trips to Carowinds, summer camp and Myrtle Beach. That was at least 20 years ago and we had a good relationship then, but I am sorry to report that I am not sure I feel the same affection for you that I once did.

I have been told that your rays are harmful and will cause damage to my skin therefore I must buy greasy, smelly, expensive lotion to lather me and my children in every time I leave my house. The heat you bring also brings mosquito's that carry viruses that are deadly, therefore I have to spray us with stinky spray to keep the pesky bloodsuckers at bay.
Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work, so my legs look like I am a victim of chicken pox most of the time.

Since you being here equals no school I have children that have no order to their day and so they are bored, cranky, whiny and argumentative all day long. It seems that most parents send there children to one of the many many day camps available, but with each costing over $100, I am not sure how that will possibly fit into the budget, therefore I play camp counsellor all day long, but without pay. Just for kicks, it stays light until after 9:00, just so I won't be tempted to put them to bed early.

Lets talk about the uniform that seems to be expected upon your arrival. Do you command that everything be thin, tight and down to there? Why are there no summer clothes that don't cling, fade and shrink after one washing?

I must admit you have a very loyal fan base. Just one mention of not liking you and I get all sorts of looks, comments and sneers. Apparently, I am in a minority here, but its my blog and I can say what I want too. ( written in a very
na na na boo boo voice)

I will have to say, your not all bad. I enjoy the wonderful fruits and veggies that come with you and there are some pretty exciting activities that are planned because of you. Ever once in a while, you throw in a cool rainy day and I consider that just for me. I also like those lightning bugs that seem to tag along with you.

Maybe one day you and I will be on better terms again. Maybe I will learn to appreciate all the things you bring and enjoy you more. Until then, I will tolerate you as you probably tolerate me in all my whining. I will also cling to the one thing you bring that I do love...the assurance that Fall is right behind you!


Your whiny, unappreciative former friend


Anonymous said...

Good gracious! I cannot believe you wrote your complaints out and admitted that you watched Miami Vice. Before you complain anymore, just remember that you could still be living in FL. I am thankful for the warm sunshine so we can swim in your parents' pool, go to Kernal Kustard, and outdoor concerts. Now, if it would just quit raining here in VA... ~Amy

Jackie said...

I know I know! NC summers are better than Florida summers! Its my blog and I can complain if I want to!! LOL!
I was just grouchy cause I was up at 5:30AM with Mac and hadnt had coffee yet! I'm much better now that I am on my 2nd pot.....love ya ~ Jack

jodi bob said...

thats funny.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jackie
I'm so sorry to learn that you have left the love of your youth. Please remember that I still love you and will be faithful particularly June, July, and August. As you mentioned, without me, there would be no green grass, no beautiful flowers and none of those fruits and veggies you love to cram, cook and/or can! Not to mention, homemade ice cream or cook outs with S'mores!

Please remember too that I am the time that your children and canines can cavort about outside or go to Nana's and swim without begging "I'm bored!" while looking out at the drab, grey sky or messing up your house.

As you look forward to my coming friend, be it beyond me to mention that it is the season where things are dying, spiders are rampant, the earth gets dusty and dirty and thousands of backs are permanently injured raking those "beautiful" fallen objects!! And around ITS corner is the sneaky cold fingers of frost that totally kill the landscape I have so patiently painted.

When you come to your senses, I will welcome you with open arms -- but please don't wait until your bones are creaky and you need my warmth to soothe your day or your balance is bit off plum and it rests your mind that no ice or slippery leaves are there to tempt a fall.

Your faithful, fun, and friendly friend, SUMMER

Jackie said...

Don't you have to work to do...MOTHER!!!

Anonymous said...

Your mom is awesome.