Remember me? I use to be one of your biggest fans. In fact I would count down the days for your arrival as it signified the end of my school year and a time to sleep in late and stay up late watching old Miami Vice episodes and drinking diet pepsi and eating skor bars. I would lay out on our trampoline worshipping your rays as I dreamed of trips to Carowinds, summer camp and Myrtle Beach. That was at least 20 years ago and we had a good relationship then, but I am sorry to report that I am not sure I feel the same affection for you that I once did.
I have been told that your rays are harmful and will cause damage to my skin therefore I must buy greasy, smelly, expensive lotion to lather me and my children in every time I leave my house. The heat you bring also brings mosquito's that carry viruses that are deadly, therefore I have to spray us with stinky spray to keep the pesky bloodsuckers at bay. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work, so my legs look like I am a victim of chicken pox most of the time.
Since you being here equals no school I have children that have no order to their day and so they are bored, cranky, whiny and argumentative all day long. It seems that most parents send there children to one of the many many day camps available, but with each costing over $100, I am not sure how that will possibly fit into the budget, therefore I play camp counsellor all day long, but without pay. Just for kicks, it stays light until after 9:00, just so I won't be tempted to put them to bed early.
Lets talk about the uniform that seems to be expected upon your arrival. Do you command that everything be thin, tight and down to there? Why are there no summer clothes that don't cling, fade and shrink after one washing?
I must admit you have a very loyal fan base. Just one mention of not liking you and I get all sorts of looks, comments and sneers. Apparently, I am in a minority here, but its my blog and I can say what I want too. ( written in a very na na na boo boo voice)
I will have to say, your not all bad. I enjoy the wonderful fruits and veggies that come with you and there are some pretty exciting activities that are planned because of you. Ever once in a while, you throw in a cool rainy day and I consider that just for me. I also like those lightning bugs that seem to tag along with you.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009